Monday, February 02, 2009

Mack: 100 Things...

Thanks to Mac Hall for letting me post this.


Mack Hall
 
100 Things to Ignore Before You Die
 
A recent visit to the book store reveals that there are only about two kinds of books for sale just now: those with pictures of the President on the cover and those telling you of 100 movies, songs, places, meals, adventures you must see, hear, visit, eat, or experience before you die.
 
Just what death has to do with any given 100 experience eludes the thoughtful person.  You see Plan Nine From Outer Space because you want to laugh at a cheesy film with pie plates doubling as flying saucers, not because your physician has given you a thumbs-down.  You listen to Wagner because of some atavistic impulse to listen to people yelling at each other in German with Nibelungsomethings beating on kettledrums in the background.  You eat a taco because you're hungry.  You jump out of an airplane because against all logic you really, really feel that some cloth and a few lengths of string will keep you from terminal planet-hugging.
 
Life should be lived on one's own terms, as far as is possible (God seems to have His own plans in the matter), not on some other human's schedule.  Perhaps part of the scheme is not doing all that other people tell you.  Following are some things that can well be ignored in living a meaningful life:
 
1.  Numerology, horoscopes, and global warming
2.  Art that must be explained
3.  Poetry that doesn't scan
4.  Bottled water
5.  Batman movies
6.  Coffee with adjectives
7.  National Public Radio on Saturday morning
8.  That quiet young man who collects Nazi memorabilia
9.  Activists
10.  1968
11.  Fat-free potato chips
12.  Newark, New Jersey
13.  Wedding receptions
14.  Golf-as-life metaphors
15.  Meetings
16.  Movie remakes
17.  Afghanistan
18.  Margarine
19.  Eateries that serve margarine
20.  Holding hands with total strangers in church
21.  Cell 'phones
22.  Sea salt
23.  Air Canada
24.  Belgium
25.  Lists!
 
-30-
 



I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

-- Bob Newhart


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