I am going to do a series of posts over the next weeks on Addiction and Recovery using the 12 Steps or Alcoholics Anonymous. There are many 12 Step programs that can be chosen. I am breaking my Anonymity by doing so, although, I have never hidden the fact from anyone if they asked me about it. If I have one wish for this series it is not to alienate someone from reading my BLOG, but to help an addict or alcoholic out there still suffering and let them know that there is help out there for them.
Many of you don't know, but May 15 will be my 4 year Sober mark. No drinking or drugging. I can’t say that it has been easy or that it has been fun because it has not. Living life on Life’s terms is a very hard thing to do. They say that your stunt your emotional self the first time that you took you first drink or drug. So, if you started when you were 16, then when you finally got sober, you were of the maturity of a 16 year old. If you were 30 when you got sober, then you will have a lot of maturing to do.
I went into treatment in the year 2002 during that summer to La Hacienda (LAHA) in Hunt Texas for 30 days in-house where I met Chris Raymer (Alumni Director LAHA). I will get into him later in this series. I also met some very interesting people, Lawyers, Doctors, Preachers, Housewives; the list can go on and on. It was a hard time of being separated from my house and personal belongings except for my MiniDisc player and CD player to have some comfort from. I went to group meetings, group therapy; We had a family week where my then girlfriend, Mother, and grandmother came to stay. If you did well, you got to go off campus to eat and go to outside meetings, if not, you stayed there. I saw many people fail or get kicked out. Why I was able to “do the deal” so to speak; I guess that it was in God’s plan for me to make it.
Every Sunday was a big meeting in the center where your family could come and visit and you saw people come back to get their chips for being sober for different time periods. 30 days, 60 days,90 days, 6 months, 1 year and so on. They also had different speakers and someone lead the meetings.
For you to “recover” you need to have a total psychic make over. This can happen by the “burning bush” type of the “educational” type. I had the burning bush type. That place gave me a set of tools that enabled me to be able to recover from a “hopeless state of mind and body.” I did not do it alone. My journey was a spiritual one also, because Addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and the spirit. I am not talking church or anything like that. Don't get the two confused, they are not the same. You can be spiritual and go to church, or go to church and never get the whole spiritual aspect of the deal. I tried the church way several years before that and it did not work for me.
For me to start the journey, I had to be totally beat down from the disease! I could not do it on my own, that was evident! Church did not do it and going to meetings but not buying whole heartedly into the program did not work either. I had to do it all or none! No "Half Steps".Finally Step One of the Big Book was easy for me to admit. “We admitted that we were powerless over drugs/alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable” It took a while living as a functional addict to finally admit that. When I did, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my way to recovery could begin. I learned that I did not have power over anything! Whatever power that I had, it had been given to me from God!
Don't get overly stressed with the God thing, I will explain this later. Just remember that for a person to “recover”, they have to treat the whole illness; The Mind, The Body, The Spirit. I also will use and interchange Alcohol and Drugs for one in the same during this series because they are the same. It is a disease the is progressive and terminal whose outcomes are Death or Institutions (Mental/Jail).
Many of you don't know, but May 15 will be my 4 year Sober mark. No drinking or drugging. I can’t say that it has been easy or that it has been fun because it has not. Living life on Life’s terms is a very hard thing to do. They say that your stunt your emotional self the first time that you took you first drink or drug. So, if you started when you were 16, then when you finally got sober, you were of the maturity of a 16 year old. If you were 30 when you got sober, then you will have a lot of maturing to do.
I went into treatment in the year 2002 during that summer to La Hacienda (LAHA) in Hunt Texas for 30 days in-house where I met Chris Raymer (Alumni Director LAHA). I will get into him later in this series. I also met some very interesting people, Lawyers, Doctors, Preachers, Housewives; the list can go on and on. It was a hard time of being separated from my house and personal belongings except for my MiniDisc player and CD player to have some comfort from. I went to group meetings, group therapy; We had a family week where my then girlfriend, Mother, and grandmother came to stay. If you did well, you got to go off campus to eat and go to outside meetings, if not, you stayed there. I saw many people fail or get kicked out. Why I was able to “do the deal” so to speak; I guess that it was in God’s plan for me to make it.
Every Sunday was a big meeting in the center where your family could come and visit and you saw people come back to get their chips for being sober for different time periods. 30 days, 60 days,90 days, 6 months, 1 year and so on. They also had different speakers and someone lead the meetings.
For you to “recover” you need to have a total psychic make over. This can happen by the “burning bush” type of the “educational” type. I had the burning bush type. That place gave me a set of tools that enabled me to be able to recover from a “hopeless state of mind and body.” I did not do it alone. My journey was a spiritual one also, because Addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and the spirit. I am not talking church or anything like that. Don't get the two confused, they are not the same. You can be spiritual and go to church, or go to church and never get the whole spiritual aspect of the deal. I tried the church way several years before that and it did not work for me.
For me to start the journey, I had to be totally beat down from the disease! I could not do it on my own, that was evident! Church did not do it and going to meetings but not buying whole heartedly into the program did not work either. I had to do it all or none! No "Half Steps".Finally Step One of the Big Book was easy for me to admit. “We admitted that we were powerless over drugs/alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable” It took a while living as a functional addict to finally admit that. When I did, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my way to recovery could begin. I learned that I did not have power over anything! Whatever power that I had, it had been given to me from God!
Don't get overly stressed with the God thing, I will explain this later. Just remember that for a person to “recover”, they have to treat the whole illness; The Mind, The Body, The Spirit. I also will use and interchange Alcohol and Drugs for one in the same during this series because they are the same. It is a disease the is progressive and terminal whose outcomes are Death or Institutions (Mental/Jail).
I am going to close this part for now…Rest assured, more will come. Part 2 Next week.
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