Steel Magnolia live at the 64th Jasper Lions PRCA Rodeo. Night 3, May 7, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Mack Goes Green
Thanks to Mack Hall for letting me post his humor.
How's That Green Workin' Out For Ya?
Cuthbert strolled into his neighborhood GaiaFirst Collective People's Earth Cooperative.
"How can I help you, sir?" asked a young woman wearing her prize collection of piercings, only one of which was still slightly pustulant.
"I'm thinking of starting a small garden in my back yard," said Cuthbert.
"Going green, are you?" asked the young woman, whose name tag read "How Can I Help You My Name is Heathyr."
"Oh, I hope not!" exclaimed Cuthbert, examining the backs of his hands just to be sure. "Though I did work for B.P."
"B.P.!?" exclaimed Heathyr. "You worked for that evil, wicked, polluting multi-national oil company?"
"Nah, I was twenty years with Bob's Pies," replied Cuthbert. "Got a little crazy with the food coloring sometimes."
"Ahem. Right. With what can I help you?" Heathyr said "With what can I help you?" instead of "What can I help you with?" because she was an English major although she had once considered being a Portuguese lieutenant.
"Well, I need a shovel, rake, and hoe."
"Oh, sir, I'm so happy that you are going to hand-work your garden instead of pillaging the planet with a polluting tractor or other power machinery. That shows you love Mother Earth!"
"No, it shows that I have a really small back yard."
"Ahem. Well, yes, now here is our selection of lovely shovels."
"But they're all made in China."
"Yes, but they're hand-crafted by ethnic Tibetan tribespersons who are one with, like, y'know, nature, and, like, stuff. These are fair-trade shovels."
"At these prices I wonder who gets the fair? All right, since I have no choice. Same for the rake and hoe, I suppose?"
"We do feature a lovely rake, the Beau Brummel model, with a fake English name but really made of recycled bicycles by other-abled midgets in India."
"Okay, and a hoe. Now for some tomato seedlings."
"Yes, sir," said Heathyr. "For our climate I'd recommend Obedient Boy or Early MS."
"I've heard of Big Boy and Early Girl – are these new varieties?"
"We have renamed our tomatoes CORRECTLY," sniffed Heathyr.
"Um, okay, twelve of each. And some sweet corn."
"Ah! Here we have organic corn seeds of the original plants grown by the all-natural First Nations Native Americans Indigenous Peoples."
"You mean Indians?"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You can't SAY that, sir!"
"Why do these seed packets have pictures of Che Guevara on them?"
"That's because our beloved Che was, like, y'know, one with The People, and, like, y'know, organic and stuff."
"Che Guevara was a psychotic mass-murderer."
"He was NOT! I saw The Motorcycle Diaries, so I KNOW."
"Ah, well, who am I to argue with a film? Oh, I'll need some fertilizer."
"We specialize in sheep poop," said Heathyr.
"You certainly do," replied Cuthbert.
-30-
Jessica Barrow Cap & Gown 1.7
Jessica Barrow Senior Portraits shot on location at Captured Images & Framing, Woodville Texas.
Jessica Barrow Cap & Gown 1.1
Jessica Barrow Senior Portraits shot on location at Captured Images & Framing, Woodville Texas.
Jessica Barrow Cap & Gown 1.5
Jessica Barrow Senior Portraits shot on location at Captured Images & Framing, Woodville Texas.
Jessica Barrow Cap & Gown 1.0
Jessica Barrow Senior Portraits shot on location at Captured Images & Framing, Woodville Texas.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Senior Portraits
Captured Images & Framing in Woodville and RMStringer Photography are joining forces to do Senior Photraits!1 We will be your 1 Stop SHOP!! We offer photography as well as the frames and matting with your school colors and also the printing of the photographs in 1 easy location. I will post Proofs tonight of the work today!! Call for prices and locations!! My Cell is 804-822-6428 and Captured Images is 409-283-3185.
RMStringer
**************
Published Photographer...
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Ready for work!
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Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Last Light...
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Monday, May 03, 2010
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Mack: Sleepy Little Southern Rattlesnakes
Thanks to Mack Hall for letting me publish his column on my site. I have been doing this for several years trying to spread his wit and style to others. He was a teacher of mine for several years in a town where I grew up. He now publishes this in the regional paper in SE Texas. I help him by posting to my website as well.
Sleepy Little Southern Rattlesnakes
Alas that terrorists and foreign oil executives never seem to bother rattlesnakes, a professional courtesy which suggests that vipers of all species recognize each other and perhaps even share a secret handshake. Well, maybe not a handshake.
According to an Associated Press story, rattlesnake roundups are declining. Hmmm – rattlesnake roundups. As fond as I am of cowboy films, I don't remember John, Roy, Hoppy, Gene, and the boys herding snakes along the Chisholm Trail to Texas. How would they do that? "Slither along, little herpetofauna, sing a-kiyi-fangy-ki-yay?" Think of the classic movies: Fang-fight at the O.K. Corral, Fang of the Barbary Coast, They Died With Their Snakeskin Boots On, Stagecoachwhip, and The Sons of Katie Adder.
Eastern diamondback rattlesnakes, like fire ants and some world leaders, live mostly underground. In rural communities catching these critters and killing them is jolly good sport, just like in Rio Bravo, and rattlesnake rounder-uppers have developed marvelous new ways of snatching serpents out of their dens. Instead of pouring gasoline down a hole and seeing what pops up, modern hunters, Beyond Petroleum, insert plastic tubes and listen for the rattle, and if such a sound is forthcoming then a smaller tube with a hook is inserted (somehow I feel the discomforting words "you may feel a little pressure" are spoken at this point), and the snake is dragged out.
The rattlesnake is then killed and eaten. The convention is that snake tastes like chicken. Since I've tried chicken, I've no need to sample snake. Perhaps snakes could be made part of the school lunch program: snake tenders, snake fingers, snake-fried snake, and snake ring things.
The skin is made into belts, purses, shoes, boots, wallets, and other fashion accessories for sale to tourists, though I suppose rattlesnake do-rags are not do-able.
The rattlesnake's skull and bones and rattles are made into trinkets, and I certainly hope to find toys made of rattlesnake remnants for the next niece or nephew for Christmas: "Uncle Mack! Thank you so much for my Barbie Snake House! You're the greatest!"
These hunts supplement rural economies through their curiosity value, and people really do pay money to stand around and eat snake sandwiches and buy stuffed snakes, and good for them.
Unfortunately, environmentalists are unhappy with rattlesnake hunts, maintaining that rattlesnakes are declining in population everywhere but in Congress. Alas that no one rounds up environmentalists and makes trinkets of them. Anyone who spends any time outdoors from Pennsylvania to California will observe that there is no shortage of rattlesnakes, and that rattlesnakes are not our anthropomorphic friends. Rattlesnakes can kill a healthy adult, and will kill a child.
But then, hey, it's always open season on children in American now, and no doubt PETA will defend to the death – a baby's death -- a snake's right to choose.
If rattlesnakes were to disappear, who would care except the sort of unread sheeplings who wear Che Guevera tee-shirts? The biodiversity argument holds no venom; Ireland has no snakes at all, nor does Newfoundland, and the folks and animals there seem to rich and rewarding lives without the blessings of pit vipers.
The AP writer was doing pretty well until he employed the most over-used cliché' in Christendom, referring to a small town in Alabama as "sleepy." But perhaps this is not the scrivener's fault; he may have been simply following orders and the AP style book. One never reads in the national press of a Southern town as anything but sleepy, so possibly use of the tired metaphor is an edict. Southern towns, according to the form book, are always sleepy, with the court house dozing in a hammock and the grocery store snoozing on the back porch and Main Street fitting itself into its CPAP mask for a good night's slumber. Middlebury, Vermont, enjoying superior character, never sleeps, nor does Bangor, Maine.
Towns aren't sleepy, but some unimaginative writers are.
I dare not suggest that anyone reading this excellent newspaper kill rattlesnakes since some sub-species are protected under penalty of law, and goodness knows I would never place the life of a child over that of a reptile; that would be wrong.
-30-
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Last Light!
?RMS¿
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Mack: Rush Limbaugh is a Democrat
Thanks to Mack Hall for letting me publish this on my site.
Rush Limbaugh is a Democrat
Last week Jack Lawrence of the American Civil Liberties Union invited y'r 'umble scrivener to participate in a debate on, well, civil liberties at Lamar's fine new John Gray Auditorium across the street from Vincent Beck Stadium in Beaumont.
I was deputed to help represent the Republican point-of-view, which might not sit well with real Republicans, along with a sharp young Lamar undergraduate and real Republican, Andrew Greenberg.
The Democrat panelists were Dr. Bruce Drury and Stuart Wright, and the ACLU panelists (Democrats and ACLU – aren't those pretty much synonymous?) were Jack Lawrence and Judy Whose-Last-Name-I-Didn't-Get.
The topics were terrorism, torture, and privacy, and we debated before a packed house, said packing consisting mostly of air space since the American people stayed away by the thousands.
The evening was quite a merry one, with no screaming, yelling, or ear-biting, but perhaps that's because no one among us was in favor of terrorism, torture, or violations of privacy. My proposal that our general disapproval of the death penalty might be modified with regard to internet service providers was met with approval by the assembly.
After the meeting broke up with handshakes all 'round, a few of us stayed to continue talking late into the night. This was the sort of informal occasion when the ACLU, and, indeed, most people are at their best, since no one is trying to score points off anyone else.
During this time I was at last able to present my thesis – there was no logical opening for it earlier – that Rush Limbaugh is in fact a Democrat, based on his threat to move to a foreign country, Costa Rica, if Congress didn't do things his way (http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattlepolitics/archives/197198.asp).
Another argument that Rush Limbaugh is a Democrat is that he is an education expert who in many states cannot legally visit a grade-school campus because of his drug issues with illegally doctor-shopping for OxyContin and for his possession of Viagra without a prescription.
Rush Limbaugh is a college dropout who bills himself as the Doctor of Democracy. There's nothing shameful about busting out of college; some of us have accomplished this academic indistinction many times (ahem!), but you just don't call yourself a doctor unless you've earned it.
Rush Limbaugh is a union-basher who, by his own admission on the radio, belongs to a union. His union is good; all others are bad.
Rush Limbaugh is an all-too-common American because he is a political junky who never even registered to vote until he was 35 (http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/politics/2009/03/06/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-rush-limbaugh.html).
A counter-argument can be made that Rush Limbaugh is a true inner-circle Republican because he is a military hawk and drawing-room generalissimo who responded to his draft notice with a note from his own doctor stating that he suffered the agonies of a pilonidal cyst (translation: butt-pimple), which the U.S. Army took at face (so to speak) value, and so bothered his leisure no further.
But let's be fair: Rush Limbaugh is not Nancy Pelosi or John Edwards, he hasn't been married as many times as Larry King, he is generous in numerous charities, and he does have a birth certificate.
Editor's note: Next week Mack will be writing from an undisclosed location.
-30-
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Evening Sky Lufkin Texas
?RMS¿
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Sandy Creek Park 1.4
All photos taken at Sandy Creek Park in Jasper Texas. Zykkor Super Wider Semi Fish-Eye 0.42x used on top of the Minolta 28-100mm f/3.5-4.5 Macro Lens. All photos are © RMStringer Photography.
Exposure: 10
Aperture: f/8.0
Focal Length: 28 mm
ISO Speed: 100
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sandy Creek Park 1.3
All photos taken at Sandy Creek Park in Jasper Texas. Zykkor Super Wider Semi Fish-Eye 0.42x used on top of the Minolta 28-100mm f/3.5-4.5 Macro Lens. All photos are © RMStringer Photography.
Exposure: 10
Aperture: f/8.0
Focal Length: 30 mm
ISO Speed: 100
Sandy Creek Park 1.15
All photos taken at Sandy Creek Park in Jasper Texas. Zykkor Super Wider Semi Fish-Eye 0.42x used on top of the Minolta 28-100mm f/3.5-4.5 Macro Lens. All photos are © RMStringer Photography.
Exposure: 0.4
Aperture: f/9.0
Focal Length: 28 mm
ISO Speed: 200
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